In 1978 I was engaged to be married to a great guy. During our engagement I realized I was not sexually attracted to men however I was sexually attracted to women. In 1987 I met the woman with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life . I asked her to marry me . In those days homosexual marriage was not in the thoughts of most folks and most certainly was not the craze it is of today.
Kathy and I loved each other deeply. Yet, both of us accepted the fact that marriage was the union of one man and one woman. Many of our friends were lesbians as well. Those who truly wanted a marriage ceremony had one. They just were not able to obtain an official marriage license. Instead they took the necessary legal action to ensure their wishes were respected. They drew up living wills and wills with the other as benefactor. All of their finances were tied together. They also obtain power of attorney for all legal matters. With the exception of being able to file their federal and state taxes jointly they had obtained the same legal rights that a heterosexual couple had with each other. On a side note, of all these lesbians couples of which I speak, only one of them are still together.
As I watch the celebrations in the streets of San Francisco I can understand their excitement. Many times I have pondered on what life would have been like if Kathy and I could have married. Would marriage vows have kept us from separating after living with each other for a few years. Would we both still be ‘in the life’ of a lesbian. You see both Kathy and I came out of that life. Kathy actually was bi-sexual. Now she identifies herself as straight (heterosexual). We are still friends and will speak to each other about twice a year.
In 1995 I accepted Christ Jesus into my life. Since that moment I no longer felt the emptiness of homosexuality. The Holy Spirit filled me with God’s love. The Holy Spirit also started convicting me that my life as a lesbian was not God’s intention, it was / is against God, it is sinful. It took me several years to come into agreement with God’s word on this matter. You see the grip of homosexuality is tight but not inescapable. For almost twenty years I was captive to homosexuality believing I was born that way. Many in the world believe homosexuality is innate. However that is a falsehood pushed strongly these past 30 odd years by the gay agenda and its activists. Change is possible. Thousands upon thousands have come out of that life.
Again, let me say that I still can relate to the homosexual person of today. Relate to those who desire to express their love for their same-sex lover. In a way it is honorable that a life long commitment wants to be made. However, marriage has been and should always be between a man and a woman. Only those of the opposite sex are able to join sexually and become one flesh. No other sexual union is capable of this miracle.
When those of the same-sex attempt to join together sexually, damage is often sustained to certain body parts. God has built-in consequences to those to whom go against His design, against His original creation. And here I speak not only of homosexual sex but many other kinds as well.
Click on the video below to watch a short 6 minute video I did with my pastor back in 2007. In it we discuss same-sex marriages and other legal issues that follow along with same-sex marriages.
Charlene E. Hios "JD" 
In the video posted, right after 1:38 you say:
“If I was born gay, well then I never could have changed.”
So you were born heterosexual? Then how did you “change” to be a homosexual while you were “living the life.”
It just doesn’t make sense to me.
Great question Justin;
I have a few friends who have shared with me that I should not call it ‘change’ because a person does not change from how God made them.
I do believe we were all created by God’s design to be male and female and that males and females were made to fit together sexually. We are all born this way.
You were born that way and I was born that way and so forth.
So with this in mind, we are all affected by the situations life brings us. It is through one’s life environment that the same-sex attractions come to us. It is not something we choose, it is there and it is how we deal with what we have been dealt.
For almost 20 years I believed I worn born a lesbian. Most folks will believe this as well because it seems to make sense.
However when I started to look at it through the Creator’s lens I could see it made no sense, the parts do not fit . . .
I realized that what I had done when I first acted out sexually on my same-sex attractions was took the responsiblity of my actions and put them on God.
Deep down inside, after the first time I made love to a woman, and actually during, I had this small underlying voice asking me “what are you doing Charlene, this is not right and you know it?” I had pushed and continued to push that underlying voice until I could not hear it any longer.
I desired these women and so it must be right. In essence, looking back at it, I was horny, I lusted, and I acted out on it and then convinced myself that I was born that way and continued for almost 20 years believing it.
So, I never had changed I was as God had made me however I was acting differently than what was intended by the Creator, by the Designer.
When I came to a deep personal relationship with Jesus Christ that underlying voice started to speak again. In actuality it was always there but I had pushed it away, shut it off, muted it . . now its voice spoke louder and louder . . . I realized making love to women, the same sex, was not what was intended, the parts did not fit, it missed the mark, it was against God, yes, it was and still is a sin . . .
Justin, I hope that answers the question. I do understand that it doesn’t make sense to you. I use to say the thing when some very good lady friends of mine said the same thing to be, that they had changed, that they were no longer lesbians, I could not understand it and never did, until I myself came out of that life . . .
I do appreciate your question and I thank you for being civil about it. I do get many who harshly critize me for speaking what I believe is the truth.
I hope your day is blessed.
Please feel free to write again.
“With the exception of being able to file their federal and state taxes jointly they had obtained the same legal rights that a heterosexual couple had with each other.”
Acutally, that’s not accurate. Even legal “Civil Unions” do not give al…l the same rights as Marriage. I know that you are not intending to misinform people, but you really need to check the facts.
“The General Accounting Office in 1997 released a list of 1,049 benefits and protections available to heterosexual married couples. These benefits range from federal benefits, such as survivor benefits through Social Security, sick leave to care for ailing partner, tax breaks, veterans benefits and insurance breaks.
They also include things like family discounts, obtaining family insurance through your employer, visiting your spouse in the hospital and making medical decisions if your partner is unable to. Civil Unions protect some of these rights, but not all of them.”
http://lesbianlife.about.com/cs/wedding/a/unionvmarriage.htm
”In 1995 I accepted Christ Jesus into my life. Since that moment I no longer felt the emptiness of homosexuality. The Holy Spirit filled me with God’s love.”
I think you need to be careful not to imply that everyone experiences being gay as”empty” or devoid of God’s love — as you did. Keep in mind that there are many spirit-filled LGBT people out here.
I think the emptiness has more to do with how a person lived their homosexuality. It can be full and loving — or empy and destructive. It depends on the choices you make and the options that are open to you.
Some call themselves “ex-gay”. Some don’t use any label. Some choose to be celibate. Some embrace their sexuality and homosexuality. I know you view homosexuality as “sin” and experienced it as “broken” and “empty”, but not all LGBT Christians do.
“When those of the same-sex attempt to join together sexually, damage is often sustained to certain body parts. God has built-in consequences to those to whom go against His design, against His original creation.”
This is just plain silly…, Charlene. Even married straight couples do many of the same sexual acts that gays and lesbians do — with no “damage to their body parts”. I have been gay for many years and have never damaged a “part” — well, maybe with the exception of stubbing my toe in the dark. 🙂
there is damage to any part of everyone’s body if it is used in a manner that goes against its intended design Michael . . . hope you are well . . .